For those of you that look at profile pictures you noticed I changed mine on Facebook to the one above around the last of February or the first of March. This photograph describes my feelings to a tee.
I hate four things with a passion, and the first quarter of every year, all four of these events align casting a dark shadow and overwhelming me with their mystical force. The way I combat this phenomenon is to withdraw from all social activities. I know my limitations, temper, and how hard it is to control my mouth. For that reason I avoid all social contact which includes social media, going out to eat, or anything else where I’m around people in general. Toward the middle of April is when I began to venture out , any time before then it literally makes me angry to leave the house or interact with people.
I’ll be the first person to tell you that I have issues, both mentally and physically. I take measures to keep both in check but the first quarter of every year, overwhelms me to the point of total frustration which eventually leads to the above mentioned anger. That’s the reason for the withdrawal. I have been diagnosed with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but there is more to it than that. Plus I’m not real sure S.A.D. is a disorder. After all drug companies and doctors will make up disorders and diseases in order to make money. Think about it if we were all healthy, neither would be making any money.
What are these events that take place that makes me go into seclusion. Well they are minor events, and individually I can handle with no problem, but stacked on top of each other is a formula for disaster. We will start with the weather, as that is what all the medical professionals seem to think triggers S.A.D.
- Weather – I hate winter. My left side from waist down suffered a traumatic injury in 1977. I’ve had more surgeries on that hip, knee, leg, ankle, and foot than I can count. Getting through a metal detector is always fun with all the plates, screws, and wires that hold me together. The cold weather along with dampness (rain, snow, ice) causes it all to become stiff, ache and hurt, my fused ankle gives me the most fits. My limp becomes more prominent, which leads to spasms in my back. Now January and February or the coldest months, March and April or damp, all four are gloomy. Toss in the fact when I’m in a high level of pain, I’m irritable as hell, so I stay away from people, and expect people to stay away from me.
- Health – Within the first quarter of each year is when my yearly trip to the heart specialist is scheduled to have the old ticker checked out. I would not have a problem with this if they would say do it around May or June, but no it’s always in January or February. Which means I have to be out in the cold increasing the pain level. Then they always find something else wrong and schedule a whole battery of test that keep me running back and forth in the cold. From what I have been told so for this year it appears I shall remain grounded like I have been since 2014. By that I mean the doctor highly suggest that I stay with in a 50 mile radius of Vanderbilt Hospital, I tested him a couple of times but learned my lesson in 2015. Yep two days before Thanksgiving, I suffered my fourth or fifth heart attack, I have lost count of those also. The first thing I was told by my doctor. “Good thing you were close, if not you would be dead, you almost coded in the ER. ” He has a great bedside manner.
- The Government (IRS) -Since the early nineties the IRS and myself haven’t seen eye to eye on nothing. It got better for a while, meaning we left each other alone. During this time we keep a watchful eye on one another. More or less laying in wait for the other to pounce so we could counter. Well as we know April is tax time and the fun began. The IRS didn’t like the weasel maneuver I pulled to get around the laws and withdrew my entire pension before 59-1/2 or whatever the appropriate age is. All I know it ain’t 56 and that was how old I was when I received the payout. To appease them I reinvested some of the money, opening a couple of small business that allowed me to hire people or help them with their business start-up by contracting them to provide services for my companies. That is a good thing right? Well this year rolled around and guess what, The IRS didn’t like the way I did that either as it was all tied back to my name. Duh, it’s my money so why wouldn’t it be. So I’m in the process of closing the small business down, restructuring them under one name and reopening them. All because the Federal Government can tell you what you can do with your own damn money. I pay my fair share in taxes, but when you hit me with tax bill that is more than my house is worth, after I have paid about the same figure throughout the year. It ain’t happening!
- Legal Issues – Last year in February, me and several others got hit with a civil damages law suit that steamed from a company we all use to work for. I hadn’t worked for this particular place since 1998. After contacting my personal attorney in Georgia, where the law suite originated, he handled the rest getting me in contact with the corporate lawyers of the company that we all were employed by. I figured that I was clear for being severed papers at the house. Wrong. I was served papers to appear in child support court in February of this year, almost to the date of last years special delivery. It appears that Georgia changed the law so they had to re-figure what I owed. The kicker, the subpoena had an attachment from Georgia that told me how much that was. Going to court was a waste of my time and money. All they did was tell me what was written on the documentation from Georgia that was the attachment. The only reason that I had to appear, so they could charge me $145.00 in court cost. I have two ex wives, well three, but I got custody of the last child. Both cases or from Georgia, but they bring me to court on separate dates. Seems like an inefficient way to do business, not to them as this is all about money, so each visit comes with a $145.00 court cost. But hey I got a surprise for all involved, and I do mean all.
So there you go, that’s why I haven’t been on social media, as talkative as I normally am, and ignoring phone calls. Things are looking up as May has come into the picture. The days are getting longer and the sun feels good. I took a mini vacation over my birthday which relieved a ton of stress.
Here are a few other things I do to combat the stress and anger that the first quarter of every year brings on.
- Music – I listen to the Blues, old rock and roll, old country and classical music. One of those genres is always playing on the satellite radio when I’m downstairs, which is all the time.
- Meditation – Takes the mind to a better place and relaxes the soul. I’m a firm believer in meditation and do it often
- Exercise – I don’t do this enough, as I hate getting out in cold weather. So I do yoga at the house and love to plank, sometimes while meditating.
- Tanning Bed – If you can’t have the real thing artificial sun will do.
- Bourbon – One shot of bourbon a day will keep the body warm and will relax the mind. One shot is two ounces, so don’t grab the bottle and turn it up.
Here are a few things I do not do as I think they add to the problem, like drinking too much Bourbon.
Pain Medicines – I don’t take any type of narcotic drug. I like for my mind to stay clear, my trigger finger under my control, and my reflex’s at their normal cat-like speed. Since I’m in constant pain of some level everyday Doctors have been trying for years to get me to go to a pain clinic. I refuse, I have been in pain for forty years I have learned how to cope with it for the most part. Plus I have seen first hand what being addicted to narcotics, street or prescribed, can do to a person. In my opinion Pain Clinics are legal drug pushers, and sooner or later their clients will become addicted to the drug they prescribe. The sad part most of them have no idea they are hooked and will argue with you till the cows come home that they are not.
Phsychotrophic Drugs – I don’t take those either for the same reason listed above. However I have a loved one who is a lot like me that takes what they call a happy pill. There appears to be no side effects, they can function normally and do not feel drugged at all. Since I have to go to the doctor on Friday, I may check on these. See I’m not against all medication, just those that hinder my thought process.
Till next time,